5. Harold and Maude. Alright, whatever, I get this movie is a “cult classic” and that it was “engrossing” and “thought-provoking,” but seriously? Watching a teenager make out with an elderly woman is exactly how it sounds: gross.

4. Bad Santa. As if hearing gorgeous Laren Graham claim she’s had a Santa fetish her entire life wasn’t bad enough, we have to witness the act between her and Billy Bob Thorton, who has, at last count, 35 different STDs.

3. Ghostbusters. One of my favorite 80’s movies of all time is tainted by the ridiculous scene where Dan Ackroyd gets busy with a ghost. You read right: A floating, transparent ghost.

2. Shoot ‘Em Up- Yes, I think Clive Owen and Monica Bellucci are super hot together. And yes, I appreciate a good action flick. But no, I do not believe you can have sex while engaged in a full-fledged gun fight. Nice try.

1. Team America: World Police. LOL! Look at those puppets going at it. How funny. Oh man. Ok. Wow… Still going! Um… okay. What is… WHAT? OH NO! WHYYYYY?!!!

Here’s to you, directors! While watching those scenes was utterly cringe-worthy, I can only assume you had it worse trying to film them. I truly apologize.