I hate getting sick. Not just like, “oof, I think I might be getting sick!” or “uh oh, I better load up on Vitamin C!” No. Like, laying in bed, writhing around in misery, crying out for Cthulu to end it all because MY FROAT HUUUUUWTS. Okay, maybe that’s a little dramatic, but let’s be honest, being sick BLOWS. So this flu season, avoid the misery of sore throats and pounding heads and body aches by following BCU’s three steps to avoiding the flu.

CREATE A HEALTHY BASE

Not unlike when we ladies apply whore-foundation on our faces on the weekends, applying a healthy base to your immune system will help you avoid the flu all together. Eat healthy, especially foods high in vitamin C and vegetables. You may remember vegetables as the green things you pull off your burger because you “ain’t gay.” Also, drink TONS of water, and if you really want to load up, keep a stash of Emergenc-E powders and vitamin C tablets on hand. While most studies show that the best way to consume supplements is via the foods they are naturally found in, supplements can do well if you want to really load up, and to take at the first sign of a cold.

WASH YOUR F***ING HANDS WHILE YOU’RE AT IT, WHY DON’T YOU

Seriously, you guys, can we talk about how disgusting you all are? I know you’ve mastered the skill of peeing without getting your hands all pissy, but you don’t know if that 300 pound dude in front of you has, and let’s be honest, he probably didn’t just pee. So either religiously wash your hands, or if your poor cold widdle hands don’t want to touch the water, keep a little bottle of hand sanitizer with you. Just imagine it as the barrier between that fat guys poopy hands and your mouth.

Also good habits to keep: drying your hands after washing them instead of wiping them on your disgusting jeans, and avoiding sharing drinks/kissing on the mouth (booty call commandment #5). You never know who’s walking around with the Bubonic Plague these days.

DON’T PROCRASTINATE ON HEALING YOUR COLD

People seem to have this unsquashable belief that the second they begin to get sick that’s it – there is no way to avoid it. NOT TRUE. Wake up with body aches? Pop some ibuprofen and vitamin C and drink about a gallon of water. Feel a sore throat coming on? Pop some ibuprofen and vitamin C and drink about a gallon of water. Notice a little cough starting? Take some cough medicine, drink some tea, take a hot shower, pop some vitamin C, and DRINK ABOUT A GALLON OF WATER. Sure, sometimes it’s too late and the sickness has got a hold on you, but there’s no harm in trying. This methodology of fighting a sickness at the first sign is why I rarely get sick – and when I do I’m allowed to resort to bed writhing and Cthulu prayers, because at least I tried.

We may be in a heat wave here in San Diego, but Winter is far from over. So safe guard your body so you can properly party with it!